EXPERIENCING CONNECTION

Spiritual Pathways in Your Walk with God

True confession: I don’t particularly enjoy listening to and singing along to worship music. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me because it seemed to mean so much to others. Why not me? Meanwhile, I loved spending extended time digging deeper into Bible texts and felt connected with God during those times. I couldn’t understand why others didn’t feel the same way.

Whether you call it “spending time with the Lord” or a “quiet time” or whatever term you use, connection with God is something we all long for and need. However, how we learned to do it from others and what we have seen people model can sometimes leave us feeling frustrated. What works for them does not seem to work for us. Often, we strain and persevere regardless. Or we give up.

Do you recognise that pattern in yourself? I hear you! Different authors have tried to describe what they observed in themselves and others. Learning from them has been a great gift. One of the books that has greatly enriched and shaped my understanding has been “Sacred Pathways” by Gary Thomas.

Yes, we all need and long to connect with God through his word and in prayer. How we do that and what context helps us most can vary. There is so much to discover about how God created each of us! Perhaps you have noticed this already. Some people thrive on worship; others on studying the Bible. Some come alive when they serve; others when they create.

Why don’t you take a moment right now to reflect: when do you feel especially connected with God? Is it sitting quietly reading your Bible? Out in nature? When you’re singing and praising him? When you journal?

Our goal in considering these “spiritual pathways” (as they are often called) is to understand ourselves better, so we can make space in our lives for what feeds our souls. At the same time, we can be more aware of the gifts others bring and step out of our comfort zone from time to time, trying out pathways that are not our natural bent.

Here’s a sample of some of the pathways people have described. This is by no means a definitive list and I would encourage you to use the book I mentioned to explore further.

Keep reading here.

Books of 2020

You’d think 2020 would have been a great year for reading. Well, not for me… Sadly, practically no travelling (either around the city or further afield) meant getting through far fewer books than in a normal year. Still, there were some good ones, so here goes – my favourite books of 2020!

The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman

Heartbreaking. Beautiful. Full of the wonder and exasperation that come with a meeting of cultures. A story so full of humanity and kindness, of misunderstanding and frustration. And I learned so much about a part of the world and a culture I knew very little about. So good!

BECOMING by Michelle Obama

I’m not generally the biggest fan of biographies but this one I loved! Sure, getting glimpses of life in the White House is fascinating. Yet this book is so much more than that. Growing up in a certain cultural context and then learning to operate in a different one. Merging two very different family backgrounds to create their own. All stories we can all relate to yet so individual as well.

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Eleanor’s story is one of deep pain and loneliness. When we first meet her, we know very little of her background. Slowly, as the story unfolds, layer after layer gets peeled back. At the same time, it is a story of kindness and deep humanity. Almost despite herself, Eleanor is drawn into friendship and community, and things start to change. Beautiful, very moving, and so well written.

KEYS TO BONHOEFFER’S HAUS by Laura M. Fabrycky

This book offers a unique blend of story and reflection. During her time in Berlin, the author was a volunteer guide at the house where Bonhoeffer’s parents lived and where he was arrested, causing her to reflect deeply on his life and legacy. She takes us along on her own journey of not just learning, but also of relating some of the principles and tensions she discovers to living in today’s world. The book was written prior to the current pandemic but reading it, as I did, in the midst of it, it seemed even more relatable and relevant!

And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer by Fredrik Backman

This short novella is incredibly insightful and moving – and so hard to describe in just a few words! Just to say that the context is a person’s (and his family’s) experience of dementia, so if that is a painful topic for you, now might not be the time for you to pick up this book. Go ahead and read some of my thoughts about it here and here. As ever, incredible writing by Fredrik Backman.

WHERE PASSION AND PURPOSE MEET

It is a Wednesday evening and about 20 of us are gathered in a traditional German restaurant in a trendy part of Berlin. Most of us have never met before yet we are chatting like old friends. “What do you say when people ask you where you’re from?” asks Marina. We all laugh. And groan. We all dread that question, because we are living or have lived outside of the country we grew up in. Questions about home and identity are tricky.

Marina, who brought us together, grew up in Slovakia and has since lived in Belgium and Spain. My own story has taken me from Hamburg, Germany to France, Russia, and the UK. For now, our journeys intersect in Berlin. There is something incredibly special about being around people who “get” a part of your story many others do not. It creates an instant bond.

My love of engaging with people from across the globe is a huge part of who I am. Yet there is also a deeper story at play. My favourite moments come when the two connect, like they did on that Wednesday evening in a restaurant in Berlin. My identity as a child of God impacts every part of who I am, including how I view other cultures and how I engage with the challenges of living cross-culturally. As we talk about our lives as internationals, I have an opportunity to share the difference my faith makes in living through some of the same struggles others around the table experience. What a privilege!

[…] Read more here

REFLECTING ON THE JOURNEY

Tired. Weary. Those are words I have often heard. It is also how I have felt. After a year of hard, unexpected, and confusing times, we all feel worn out.

Where I live in Germany, Christmas has come in the middle of our second lockdown. Though not the end of the journey by any means, the holidays can be a natural time to stop, reflect and take stock. 2020 has given us more to reflect on than most years. Yet that’s hard to do. It feels easier to escape into Christmas movies, baking, cooking, eating, and other joys of the season, than to sit with all that this past year has brought.

Yet, over the years when I have taken the time to reflect on a year (or whatever time period) and had the courage to face the emotions that might emerge in the process, I have often experienced God meeting me in special ways, and His peace replacing confusion, fear and grief.

This reflection is often called a debrief and can be used to help people process their experiences. In some contexts, a trained facilitator takes participants through a debrief. While that may not be available, even taking this time by yourself, with your spouse, or a trusted friend is incredibly helpful.

Why not take time this Christmas season to “debrief” your experience of 2020? 

[…] Read more (incl some practical tips) here (NOTE: since that website is currently experiencing some issues, I have for now posted the rest of the article below).

Here are some practical pointers:

• Plan specific times. Obviously plans may change but if we decide to do it “at some point over the holidays” it will likely get crowded out. Taking a full day is great but I have also found it very helpful to give 30 minutes or so a day over the course of a week.
• Tell someone what you’re planning to do and ask them to pray for you during that time.
• Even better: find someone who will join you (not necessarily in the same space) so you can share what you’re learning and how God is meeting you.
• Gather your calendar, a journal, some coloured pens or pencils, and perhaps some craft materials.

Here are some pointers for things to think about and reflect on.

It’s usually best to work through these one at a time, rather than try and do them at the same time. That way, each aspect receives the attention it requires.

1. Start by doing a timeline of the year. This is where your calendar is helpful to remind you of what happened when. It might also be worth looking back at your Instagram feed or other social media you use. You might think you remember but there could be a few surprises. When I went through a debrief back in May, I was stunned to discover how many major things had happened in just the first 10 days of lockdown that I had forgotten.
2. For many of us, living with paradox and mystery is uncomfortable. We like to resolve the tension they carry. In this year, where did you experience mystery or paradox? Mark them on your timeline. For example, I was so disappointed when an event I had been looking forward to was cancelled. At the same time, I was relieved as it meant the decision whether to go or not was not one I had to make. That’s a paradox right there.
3. What were some of the losses you experienced this year? You might want to downplay them because they seem less significant than what other people had to deal with. Yet they’re real, they are significant for you, and it’s important to name them. Perhaps it was not being able to say goodbye properly to someone who left, not seeing family for many months, or that you had to cancel a trip or an event you had been looking forward to. Those are losses and we need to acknowledge and grieve them. Again, mark them on your timeline.
4. What were some of the gifts and blessings of this season? Surprisingly, these can be equally hard to acknowledge. What good things happened? Where did the Lord meet you, encourage you, strengthen you?
5. You might want to wrap up your time by giving some sort of creative expression to what you discovered. This is not a must, obviously, but I have found it very helpful.

As you have engaged with these different aspects of your journey through 2020, hopefully the Lord will have met you in the painful, the confusing and the wonderful things. My experience has often been that acknowledging it all before the Lord (and myself), means they take an appropriate place rather than continue to consume space in my heart, soul and mind.

Would you like to set aside time this holiday season to “debrief” your year with the Lord (using this approach or a different one)?